Sometimes I think we mistake God's love. We confuse it. Misrepresent it. And sometimes we just downright miss it altogether. Especially when it comes in the form of something painful or difficult. But those can be the greatest expressions of God's inexhaustible love. Just ask Jesus.
I am learning to see God's love for what it truly is, for the way it is expressed through the person of Jesus, not for the way it's often expressed on earth.
This true, perfect love isn't easy. But it is good and it is powerful. And that is where the Church's power lies... in receiving and then giving
For His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that [are requisite and suited] to life and godliness, through the [full, personal] knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His own glory and excellence [virtue]. 2 Peter 1:3 Amplified
[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]! Ephesians 3:19 Amplified
(the following is not quoted scripture, just God's word spoken to me)
My Love holds the power, not My wrath, nor My judgment. To gain power for life and godliness, to be filled to the measure with Me, you must know love. Experience it. Practice it. Give it. Receive it. Desire it. All in the form of Christ, lest you find a tainted love.
The fullness of Who I AM is delivered in love. It can come no other way. Many seek Me through all other paths, but fail to find the fullness of Me because they miss love, or they cannot give up judgement.
Do not cling to judgement in any form. Search out My love and you will find all you need.
I am not offering a love without boundaries, a love that overlooks wrongs. I am offering True Love that swallows wrong, knowing full well the weight of sin; the love that sacrifices to protect, to save; the love that redeems; the love that changes, that sustains.
It is not a mushy or blind love. No, this love is very strong and sees all, yet offers itself anyway.
This love stretches the depths and heights of mankind at the same time. It is impossible for earth to exist without this love.
So do not mistake My love for an earthly treasure. Little on earth can resemble the Love I AM. Yet I offer Myself to you.
I love how Jesus tore down barriers between people. I love how He never cast judgment, except on the religious hypocrites. I love how He went about just loving everyone and speaking truth into their lives. I love how He never had a soap box, but never failed to draw people to Him. I love how His nature is so unassuming and yet wonderfully wise. I love how His grace pours over even me daily.
May I always be an issuer of grace.
Today, May 8th, many Christians are trying to "win" by voting for Amendment One. Now, I'm the first to disagree with homosexuality. And I'm the first to be for a relationship between one man and one woman. Forever. But I'm sick of Christians trying to win.
Jesus effected change not through government polls and politics (of which there was plenty to do there, and which many people expected him to do). He effected change through meeting a woman at a well. Through teaching on a hillside. Through getting real with twelve men. Through washing their feet.
I don't imagine that if Jesus was in town today, He would be first in line at the polls. I just can't see it happening. Instead, I think He'd be hanging out with the lesbians and gays today, showing them a little grace. Talking to them about God's deep love and freeing truth. Or maybe He would be on the side of the road, asking people on their way to the polls about how they agree with sex before marriage or drinking a little too much or how come they haven't helped the orphan and widow lately. They must be too busy voting.
Perhaps if we want to be the Church we should study Jesus a little closer and step out of our own culture. Perhaps we should count on God to deliver truth into people's lives through us instead of expecting the government to take on that role for us. Perhaps we should let the government keep us safe instead of morally correct. Perhaps we should look at the plank in our own eye before pointing out the speck in our neighbors.
May I always be an issuer of grace. May I never try to win. May I always practice Jesus' way and step with others into their scum, whatever it may be, and point to a better way through Christ. May I tear down barriers, instead of putting them up.
May I always be an issuer of grace.
 So I've been reading "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller, also the author of "Blue Like Jazz". I may not agree with him 100% on everything, but his writing is certainly thought-provoking, refreshing and wonderfully honest-- things I didn't realize how badly I needed. I highly recommend his books for a fresh perspective on a (what we often allow to be) stale Christianity. Miller hits to the core of something that's been bothering me for, well, my entire life. Here's what I mean:
Man is wired so he get his glory (his security, his understanding of value, his feeling of purpose, his feeling of rightness with his Maker, his security for eternity) from God, and this relationship is so strong, and God's love is so pure, that Adam and Eve felt no insecurity at all, so much so that they walked around naked and didn't even realize they were naked. But when that relationship was broken, they knew it instantly. All of their glory, the glory that came from God, was gone. ... If man was wired so that something outside of himself told him who he was, and if God's presence was giving him a feeling of fulfillment, then when that relationship was broken, man would be pining for other people to tell him that he was good, right, okay with the world, and eternally secure. As I wrote earlier, we all compare ourselves to others, and none of our emotions - like jealousy and envy and lust - could exist unless man was wired so that somebody else told him who he was, and that somebody else was gone. ...
And then I started thinking about my own life, how I need people to love me and like me and how, if they don't, I feel miserable and sad and how I am tempted to believe what they are saying about me is true. It is as though the voice God used to have has been taking up by less credible voices. And when I think about this I know that Genesis 3 is true; I know without a doubt I am a person who is wired so that something outside myself tells me who I am.
I can't even begin to describe how true this is. We all look for ways to define ourselves, to figure out who we are. Often our identity comes from either what we do or who we're with. We're the teacher or the counselor or the race car driver or we're Sally's mom or Matt's wife; Gary's daughter or so-in-so's best friend. These things give us an identity we long for. These things tell us who we are. They define us.
Although I haven't been able to put words to it cohesively, God has had me on a journey to find my definition in Him, as evidenced by the last blog entry. We are all fed labels throughout our lifetime. We choose to either accept them or deny them. (i.e. I'm a loser. I'm the "big" girl. I'm the quiet one. I make people laugh.) My own definitions were always a little of a paradox, even to me. I was the valedictorian who didn't want to go to college. I was the farm girl who drove a race car. I am thankful that, from a young age, I also found some identity in Christ. Still, I searched for it in many other places. And I found the most welcoming identity among friends. And from grade school on up, that's where I was "home". Among friends I knew who I was.
Then I got married. And friendships weren't as easy to keep. Granted, they are still there. But distance and life get in the way and my identity in being a good and needed friend started waning. So I wanted my husband to define me. And I begin to think that if I had a child, I could be more purposeful, more identified again. Two and a half years later I'm still learning that the definition of myself can't be completed anywhere or in anything on earth.
The marriage relationship is the one most closely related to that of God and His people. When two people first come together it is quite glorious. A particular person can make another feel alive, complete, whole, loved. But the problem with defining ourselves by this relationship is that we are all finite creatures. And the feelings run dry. We need an everlasting supply and yet no husband, wife, job or other can ever give that to us. On Monday Matt can tell me I'm beautiful and loved, but by Friday - or, more truthfully, Tuesday - I need to hear it again. I am week and needy. I need an unending, unfailing supply of love, security, value, purpose and all those things that Miller said Adam and Eve had in the unbroken relationship with God before sin. And, as wonderful as my husband is, it is ludicrous to place that expectation on him.
And yet, all too often, I look for him to define me. And, perhaps worse still, I want to be the one to define him. I want to be mini-god in his life. I worry that someone else will define him - offer him purpose, glory, value, etc. I hate that feeling. But while it's certainly no other woman's job to define my husband, it's also not mine. As a wife I am to offer him all of myself. I am to be a help-meet, an encourager. I am to build him up and offer him love. I am to show him respect and be an intimate friend and lover. I am to be many things, but I am not to define him. Nor is he to define me. And this is a hard realization for me. And yet, at the same time, very freeing. Because the responsibility of defining a person is very heavy. Too heavy in fact. The jobs that belong to God always are.
I give the illustration of man and wife because that's where I am at right now, and because it's the one that most closely patterns our individual relationships with God. But the same principle applies everywhere. We look for the world to tell us what we need to be, and we find that identity anywhere we can - our looks, our jobs, our homes, our activities, our social circle.. whatever. It is all very limiting. We choose this over having God tell us who we are. And that is terribly sad. Because God knows so much truer who we really are. And He has much more to offer us than anyone or anything else.
I agree with Miller. I need something very outside of myself to tell me who I am. I look for it every day. But I am also learning every day. Learning to give up my desires to be everything to someone, and my expectations for anyone else to be all to me. To allow God to tell me who I am, to give me value, purpose, meaning, love. To allow His voice to write truth on my heart.
 Sometimes there's a fine line between complete darkness and brilliant light. Other times, light greets us or fades more gradually, such as in the dawning day or waning sunset.
I have always been fascinated with light, and mostly the light that contrasts so starkly with darkness (such as the moon, the namesake of this blog).
Today's entry is God's word to me. I hope it encourages you as it did me.
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. All those who do evil hate the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But those who live by the truth come into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. John 3:19-21
My dear, you are precious to Me. Your ways are precious to Me. I carefully designed you as you are and I treasure you.
I have called you into Light. There is no longer any need for darkness - not to hide what you've done and certainly not to hide who you are. Even when you've failed, you are welcomed into the light if you will only come. For Jesus' blood has cleansed you. There is no fault in you. You are made whole, even fully exposed in the light. Even then there is no need for shame or covering. You are complete. You are the unashamed. You dwell in My presence by the sacrifice of Christ.
Hiding in darkness only keeps you from being made whole. Confessing your sins, admitting your weaknesses, bringing all that you are into the light is your ticket to freedom, redemption, healing. The only way to ensure death and defeat is to remain in darkness.
But you are a Child of Light.
Step forth into My glorious day with all that you are. Don't be afraid for Me to see you, to know you as you are. It is My deepest pleasure to know you. It is for this that Christ suffered.
Step forth. Step forth into My light and be...
Redeemed Complete New
Made Whole Loved True Holy
Rescued Strengthened
Righteous Cleansed FORGIVEN
Free Filled
perfected Chosen Healed
... ... ...
MINE.
It would seem that at times we give in without realizing it. We let our fears overtake us. We begin to believe the lies we've heard about ourselves. We look around one day and find ourselves 15 pounds heavier; far from where we hoped we'd be at this age, in the same rut, different day; the 'me' we'd each hoped to be somehow lost. Whatever it may be, we're all prone to temptation somewhere. There's at least one area where each of us just tends to give up and give in.
And when we finally notice these things we wonder how they ever happened at all. When, exactly, did I let that dream die? When did I give up on the truth? on myself? on my family or that situation? When did I go back to that thing or that way I hate?
Somewhere, somehow we made a silent resolution that we weren't going to fight anymore. It wasn't worth it. We weren't going to make it anyway. At the very best we've settled. At the very worst we've given up on God or ourselves.
Then a day comes along that makes you remember that maybe, just maybe life isn't actually meant to be lived that way. That maybe there are things worth fighting for. That maybe you're worth fighting for.
Today I am reminded that life is always worth the fight. It is pure folly to give up. It's ridiculous to believe anything other than God's truth about ourselves and our individual worlds. And it's downright sinful to succumb to fear or despair and give up the fight.
So whatever you face today, realize that in Christ victory awaits, and no matter what, it's worth the fight.
The tools He gives us are powerful.
4 For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.
Deut 20:4
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Cor 10:4-5
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Eph 6:10-17
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31-39
4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith
1 John 5:4
 _ In John chapter 15, Jesus is speaking to his disciples. He tells them that He is the Vine and they are the branches; to remain in His love; practice obedience; bear fruit; and ask and receive. As I read this I wondered about the relationship between each of these points He makes. It didn’t make sense to me why Jesus would group them together. To me, it seemed He was jumping around with very separate, unrelated thoughts. Knowing that our God is a God of order, I decided to ask Him about it. And, as He likes to do, He blew me away.
The main point in these verses is staying connected to the Vine. That’s our relationship with Jesus. It must be our singular priority. I tend to forget that. I tend to make the fruit the goal. I focus on outcome, output, and productivity. After all, if there’s no positive outcome, what’s the point? And what’s more, I like tangible results. As a racer, I want my car to perform better. I want to be a more consistent driver. And I want that to show up through win lights. As a Christian, I want to love people better and better others’ lives. I want to see the fruit of my church and God Speed through increased attendance and more Christ-followers.
And all of these outcomes are good.
But outcome isn’t the point. It’s not even part of the point. And if we focus on the outcome, instead of relationship like Jesus points out, then we’re all backwards.
What Jesus is trying to tell us is that it is ALL about relationship. “If you do not remain in Me, then you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers” (v16). Our focus should always be our relationship with Jesus, and in turn, with others. “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matt 22:37-38).
Jesus produces the fruit in us. He is the Vine. We are merely the branches. Our main goal is a healthy connection to the Vine.
My next question for our Lord was about the part obedience plays in the Vine/branches/fruit relationship. The Lord explained that our relationship with Him is maintained (NOT gained) through obedience. It is not about finishing tasks or adhering to rules. It is about submitting to the Lord out of love and reverence, walking side by side with Him. We cannot maintain and grow in relationship with our Lord if we do not follow His ways. He calls us friends, not servants (v15). This is the model for our obedience– not as slaves obey their master, but as friends give freely to one another in love. We do not have much to give to the Lord. The one thing we can always offer Him is our obedience. His gift to us? Everything else. “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Rom 8:32).
Apart from Him we can do nothing (v5), but when we remain in Christ and His Word remains in us we are encouraged to ask whatever we wish (v7). He is the Lord of all creation, an extravagant God, and He tell us to ask anything. C.S. Lewis once said: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
Dare we ask God for more? One mark of an intimate relationship is the amount given and received by the individuals involved. Of whom do you expect the most? Who asks the most from you? Who freely offers you the most? Our spouses, parents, children– those most intimate relationships we have here on earth. God desires nothing different in our relationship with Him. He longs for us to tell Him our desires, offer freely our obedience and accept graciously His good gifts.
Our goal is never in the answer to our requests or the fulfillment of our desires, but only in the One Who holds all the answers and freely gives. Our goal in obedience is never to gain. It is only to walk closer to the One who forever holds our hearts. Our goal is never to produce the fruit, but to abide in the One Who works through us to show His goodness to the world.
Share love with the Lord today. Ask Him what abiding in the Vine looks like for you. Offer your obedience as a gift to the One Who submitted His life for you. And don’t be afraid to receive His gifts in return.
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in My name the Father will give you. This is My command: Love each other.” John 15:17
Yeah, so I've had a lack of focus lately. And my friends Liz and Gena have inspired me to correct that.
So this morning I sat down a did a Life Map. It was desperately needed. I've had a severe lack of motivation for quite some time. And as I sat down to review and outline my life, I realized I had no focus or drive or reason behind ANY of the things I am doing, even my marriage. I was just doing, without thinking. Before starting any of these things I prayed about them and felt like God wanted me in them, but I had no reason why. So I sat down this morning and outlined the different aspects of my life, asking God the why and focus behind them all. What I found out is that nearly EVERYTHING I'm involved with is in a foundational stage. My marriage is only two years old. My church, just a year. The ministry, while established, is trying to lay the foundations for a larger vision. The vineyard, my third job, just had a one year anniversary celebration. My local friendships have only begun in the last year or so. Even my family structure is being revamped in certain ways. All this foundational stuff is very frustrating, mainly because it takes a lot of motivation and focus and I haven't had any. I would rather be handed the tasks than developing them. Starting from scratch is difficult, as you well know. I want things established, well worn with an easy groove, where motivation isn't as necessary. I don't want to establish my life. I want it handed to me. Like we spoiled Americans want with everything. And I guess the worst part is, I'm frustrated with my inability or lack of self discipline in establishing a beautiful, well-run life. I've just dumped everything into one pile and amounted my life to a to-do list on a sheet of paper. Catching up on that list this week made me realize that there's something severely missing. And that's foundation. Life is going along because it has to and time doesn't stop. But without clear vision and strong foundation that's all it's ever going to do... just flounder along. And that's not what I want. I want it driven, not by me of course, but by the Lord. But instead of handing Him the reins, I've just thrown them on the ground. And there they lay. Floundering. No purpose. No drive. Certainly no motivation or F.O.C.U.S.
This has been manifested in my life in some pretty obvious ways, but I've missed it. Totally. I'll wander around my house for 30 minutes in the morning going from room to room, unable to make a decision or motivate myself for the day. I just wander about in near oblivion. Some days I can't even decide which coffee cup to use. It's sad and a little scary when there's NO one driving your life. I'm just fortunate that no one else picked up the reins until this point and now I can pick them back up and hand them over to the One Who really needs to be in control.
In a lot of ways I'm still not entirely sure what that looks like, but at least I recognize it needs to be done.
Things are about to change.
Sometimes God orchestrates events that we simply never see coming. Last week I was driving to the store. It's an easy drive, but I got turned around twice. Now, I'm normally good at getting myself around, especially in the town I live in going to a store I go to often. So to get turned around twice was especially odd. After the second time, I thought to myself, "Maybe this is God's way of keeping me from an accident."
I finally get on the highway going in the right direction and head to my destination. Turning into the parking lot I get rear ended. Seriously, God?? You were supposed to keep me OUT of an accident! If one tiny little thing had gone different on my drive, I wouldn't have been rear ended. Maybe if I had made the turn the first time, or even the second. Or if I hadn't gotten stopped by the light, or... you name it! I thought God was supposed to orchestrate strange events to keep me from accidents, not to get me in one!
My car, with it's plastic bumper, was amazingly unscathed by the large Chevy truck that knocked me a good five feet. My neck, not as lucky. The chiropractor said it was a classic case of whiplash, so we're now working on getting me back to normal. Aiyayai.
And I'm left wondering what the purpose in all this is. My friend, Kelli, was rear ended while the song Blessings by Laura Story was on the radio. A key line in this song says, "What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise." Talk about a sign. And her accident did turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Is mine?
I'd have to say yes, although I'm still learning exactly how. You see, I'm on a journey. We all are - a journey with God. And in my journey, I needed a little prodding. It came in the form of a Chevy Truck and a month's worth of Chiropractic visits.
The morning of my accident God told me: "You don't plan your steps. I do. You don't direct your path. I do." Coincidental? Yeah, probably not. He's teaching me about walking step by step with Him, trusting Him for each breath and living out of His voice.
I'm generally pretty hard on myself. But living out of the voice of my Shepherd frees me from being my own task master. The responsibility is the Lord's, not mine. Because He directs my steps. Sometimes right into the middle of an accident. But even when I'm faced with my own weakness, which I hate, and with insurance calls, claims and questioning, I can be free from myself. This freedom comes from trusting the Lord and heeding His voice at each step. It comes from being found in Him and giving up my own strength and control.
I could go on about my life, even as a Christian, wielding my power to create my own destiny, being my own task master and handling life all by myself. Or I could see the lights of a Chevy truck in my rear view as a sign that God sometimes has a different plan. As Laura Story says, "He loves us way too much to give us lesser things."
What's the greatest thing? An intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. Although a safer drive to the store would have been nice, a step toward greater one-ness with my Lord will always outweigh the lesser things.
We see it all around us. There’s no denying it’s an epidemic of monstrous proportions. Yet, it’s become so customary we’ve accepted it with little concern. And what is this crime of our day? Remaining ordinary. Settling. Choosing a life less than the one we’ve been designed and planned for.
What’s wrong with the way we are? You may ask. How could you possibly expect more? Aren’t we all doing the best we can?
Oh, but that’s exactly the problem. Yes, we certainly are doing all we can. And what have we discovered? What’s our biggest fear? Our best efforts, WE, are still not enough.
There. I said it. You’re not enough. And neither am I. We’ll never reach the life we desire, the life we were designed for… on our own.
Well. That’s depressing.But isn’t it also a little freeing? You can quit trying so hard! Take a break. Go a little easier on yourself.
But, you’re probably thinking, isn’t that giving into the complaint in the beginning? Isn’t that settling? Living less?
No. Not if your surrender is into the arms of Christ. For when you lay down your life, you find His and the one He has planned for you all along. It’s there for the taking. It’s not always easy, but He gives you the strength and promises that every step will be worth it. We simply have to be willing to trust Him to create this true life. We have to relinquish our power and control and be obedient to His. And that’s scary. But it’s the only Way.
It is simply all about living IN CHRIST and not in ourselves. HIS strength, HIS power, HIS grace, HIS LOVE, all through us. Not us manufacturing our own strength, power, beauty, gifts to the world, but allowing those of Christ to flow through us as we abide in Him. Now THAT is freedom. THAT is life.
Take a look at the life you see around you. In any given year, 25% of U.S. citizens are diagnosed with mental disorders. Escapes from our daily reality are the norm (drugs, movies, video games, facebook, etc.) Your neighbor leaves his wife of 12 years unexpectedly, simply because he’s not satisfied. Your friend cheats on her husband because the life she has isn’t what she signed up for after all. Kids lock themselves in their rooms, get hooked on drugs, or find solace in gangs. We spend hours in a gym or hundreds of dollars on the latest beauty treatment.
Everywhere we look people are searching desperately for life. But they’re not finding it. So they settle for lesser things—that relationship they know just isn’t right, over-indulgence in food, pornography, pushing the limits to climb the ladder, taking whatever we can get from life because we feel like someone is holding out on us.
But, the truth is, no one’s holding out, and least of all God.
He’s not depriving us. He’s calling out to us—to leave behind the lesser things, to reach for something higher. He’s made us for more, but we have to discard our ways, our efforts in our own strength, and trust only in His. That’s how we experience life. Resign as president, director, CEO, CFO and whatever else of your own life. Christ bought it with a price and He wants to be Lord. You surrender your life to Him and He’ll freely give you His. And that’s true life—not filled with lesser things, but filled with the absolute best of things. You can continue to settle, accept less from life, and take the easy way and crawl. OR. You can lay down your life, find the newness hidden in Christ, follow His ways, and fly.
It’s a choice granted us each day, at each step. True life waits there. Rise up and take your place in the Body of Christ.
 But this system of law was to last only until the coming of the Child to whom God's promise was made. Galatians 3:19b
But now that faith in Christ has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. Galatians 3:25
Where is the freedom in Christ? Have we traded one set of law for another? Maybe we don't live by the Old Testament rulebook but we've certainly created new ones. Have we enslaved ourselves, making a mockery of the cross? I'm afraid we have. If we were solidly grounded in Christ, what rules would we need? Christ would always be our guide and example, not rules. But yet, we continue to live by rules and not be faith in Christ.
One of my favorite quotes says something to the effect of: "You live by the rules of your own making." I wish I could find the exact quote but it's something along those lines. And it's so incredibly true. We make personal vows within ourselves and set our lives up with rules. Once we've done that, those rules become our life. Our lives are dictated by the rules of our own making. And then, where does our freedom lie?
Here's some rules that I've made for myself over the years:
-The Law of Hard Work: If I don't constantly work hard toward a productive goal, I am useless.
-The Law of People Pleasing: I must keep everyone happy and work hard to make them like me.
-The Law of Good Appearance: I must always give the appearance of a "good little Christian girl" and never upset the apple cart. (I fear this one has overtaken much of the Church.)
-The Law of Beauty: (no doubt instilled to much of my generation by our society) I must always strive to be outwardly beautiful. It is much of my worth.
I'm sure there are many more, but those are a few that often rule my life on a deep level and on a daily basis.
As I've grown in Christ, I've given myself and others more outward freedom, and I am learning not to be so judgmental of actions, even my own. However, I must confess that I am like Peter, who had to be called out by Paul for his hypocrisy. There are still some things I won't do around certain people because of the laws they have made. I entertain them to keep peace, or to impress, or to keep good standing.
In 2009 I began a journey to freedom that led me to fast once a month. This lasted about halfway through the year. But God is unbelievably gracious and faithful, and my journey to freedom continues two years later. It has recently come to a boiling point as serious issues within my family have caused me to question my own level of freedom and given me extreme examples of our self-slavery. It has renewed my passion to live in Christ, free.
One of my biggest points of slavery that I did not mention in my rules above is fear. I have lived with a nearly constant and deep rooted spirit of fear as long as I can remember. It has always been with me, plaguing me, dictating how I act and move and live. At some points it has come on strong in the form of anxiety attacks. Other times it is a subtle paralysis in the ability to be who I am, love freely, take a chance or even walk down my hallway. Thankfully, God is removing this spirit of fear. Yesterday at my dear church the pastor led us through a time with God where He showed us such spirits that had a hold on us. Together as a church, we prayed through this, asking God to free us and replace within us fruit of His Spirit. I know that today I am walking in greater freedom. Joy has overtaken fear. Freedom is a beautiful thing.
Rules! Why do we live by them? Oh that we would walk steadily with Christ, embracing Him every moment and living out of His voice rather than our own rules, no matter how "good" they may seem. What freedom there must be! Oh what freedom there must be!
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